Do you know the Difference? Coach, Trainer, Mentor. . .

It’s only semantics. Nothing important but the question is, is a coach a coach, or is the label being used out of linguistic laziness or because historically the coach as we know it is often compared to a sports coach? Or is it for marketing purposes? Consumer perception tells me and most likely you, that many believe a coach is less expensive than a consultant or therapist, and less qualified or experienced. Perception or is it misconception? Well, I know a many six-figure coaches and a couple of seven-figure coaches, I also know several very reputable global coaching companies so we can throw that out the window. Question is are they coaching?

Could the label coach be another word for someone seriously experienced in something and we don’t know what else to call it? Should another label be applied? Perhaps mentor, consultant, therapist, counsellor or trainer?

Do you know the difference? Are you getting what you paid for or do you not buy because you don’t know what you’re getting? Are your leaders doing what they need to be doing to get the right results? Do you know what your labels mean? When your managers say “He needs more training” could it be the manager means “He needs coaching”.

As we all know labels can be very helpful when we know what they mean. Labels give us a reference point to work from. A basic standard to work with. In the context of coaching, do we really know what we are getting? What the word means? What the basic standard is? I make a humble attempt, using a generalist stance from my own discoveries, to answer this question in response to clear evidence that there is confusion.

Back in the days when I ran free through the fields, my coach was frequently yelling at me to do something, like “Get that ball,” “Run faster, Harper,” “Get to the left,” “That’s right, good girl,” “Now I want you to”. After making me run around like a maniac he would take the ball off me and show me a new cool trick to practise and practise and practise with. Then when it was time for a match, test time.

That is not coaching: that is called highly directive instruction with some evaluative judgment thrown in, perhaps with the intent to encourage? There will also be assessment of ability by the coach who will be trying to determine a) am I running and catching the ball to the standard? b) where are the gaps in my ability? In other words, training. So while the sports coach is yelling instruction and providing judgments such as “Good girl”, these are not the skills of a coach: this is the skill of a trainer.

The qualifications of a trainer can be diverse. Degrees in early childhood education, adult learning, psychology, human resources, and/or certification in neuro linguistic programming and neuro-semantics, and more and more often subject-matter experts promoted or transferred and then thrown in the deep end to survive it or if lucky develop into the role.

A mentor is often someone wise in the ways of. Been around the block a bit, knows the tips and tricks. Wily in their knowledge. They have walked their talk. The old (not necessarily age-dependent) sage if you like. They will often only offer if asked; being wise and all, they appreciate you need to learn from your own mistakes. When they do offer their knowledge, it is not up for debate – one will experience the eyebrow lift – it is, however, up for questioning, particularly around execution.

The mentor will work with people who have competence, who are strong in the procedure or process and who have tried a couple of different ways and now want to take the skill to another level. A good example could perhaps be someone who has been in the corporate game for twenty-odd years and now wants to go out on their own. They have the fundamentals, they have huge transferable skill and it is proven, but now it is applying that skill in a very different arena – running a business for self. The mentor will provide feedback/knowledge/information – when it is asked for but only then. They will not do it for you.

No qualifications are necessarily required although this does not mean that they won’t have them. More and more often we are seeing this service as voluntary, free and up to the mentor as to whether they will or not.

A consultant will charge for the knowledge. Consultants can do three things: tell you what to do, manage the project, or tell you what they are going to do and then go off and do it. They will do it faster and generally to a higher quality, or that is the expectation anyway. Know the difference between a consultant and a contractor. A consultant tells you; you tell a contractor. The skill of the contractor will depend on what skill base you have selected. A consultant is a subject-matter and execution expert. Again their qualifications are dependent on requirement but not necessary: experience is the key..

Therapy is Greek for treatment. Many therapists (in reference to psychotherapy or talk therapy) will call themselves counsellors or coaches simply because of the stigma some of us Kiwis associate with the term therapy, and again more and more frequently because they have a good understanding of the differences and are in fact coaches.

Therapy is considered by many a short or long term treatment. Treatment can be issued through exercise, prescription or discussion. There are many different kinds of therapists. Occupational: that is anything that occupies us, living, walking, eating, working, house cleaning and relationships. Occupational therapists work at a cognitive and behavioural level focusing on the negatives of the past to work toward a future. Art therapy is becoming more and more popular, dealing with expression of emotion: another way to work through issues and discover oneself and start building a new and more advised individual. Therapy is one of the few fields where qualifications are required. Makes perfect sense as some – not all –have the ability to administer medications. The key here is prescriptive, norms of usage. Highly procedural, step by step. Linear in its system.

The coach knows you have the answers, so there is no telling, no showing and no explanations, no evaluative judgments, no endorsements. A coach would never impose their ideas upon. You will not hear a good coach say, “Well, do you want to know what I think? Great work! You were absolutely right to do that.” In fact, it has been my experience that a coach detests providing opinion when they are wearing their coaching hat because they know that their opinion may not work for you and they also know that you are the expert. Only the others get to tell an expert what they think.

Coaches have a know-nothing attitude. A focus on the positives the negatives provide. So what this means is they work with healthy ego-strength because they ask plenty of questions and some of them can be pretty tough, and because they offer no opinion, judgement or endorsement you are going to need to have an ego that will provide all of that for you.
Coaches do use therapeutic models if there is slight tendency toward needing endorsement; however, if the coach identifies a further need, a recommendation to visit a therapist will be offered. The therapist will send the client back when they have worked their magic. It does not happen very often but it can. A general practitioner usually gets to them before a coach does. Most coaches have a good therapist they recommend just in case and vice versa.

Coaches have the ability to give you back the answers you provide in the way you provided it. You tell them what you are looking for and their curiosity, their attitude of you as the expert, combined with questioning, listening, mirroring and being the absolute opposite, will get you your answers, needs or solutions. The best analogy I can think of at this time is that a coach is a highly motivated student searching for the answers and you are the teacher, mentor, consultant, website and reference book that will get them the answers. The student (coach) will hunt the answer down until you say “got it”. Remember, you have all the answers, so coaches love know-it-alls.

Depending on the coach and what models they use will decide if they are linear or systemic. The type of models/templates will also depend on the qualification. More often than not there are accreditations and/or certifications.

Finally, a leader is supposed to have all of these qualities. A leader must know what skill he or she is using, when, how and why. Use the right skill at the right time for the right purpose and you have efficiency and will reduce peeving your people off and stop sending them to the trainer when it is not training they need. It is amazing how many do this because they do not know what they mean.

I know you can appreciate there is so much more to it than that. There is more to training than I have described; there is certainly more to being a consultant, contractor, mentor, therapist and coach. This is not all of the information. It is designed to be just enough to give you a definition. Almost all have the ability to cross over and this is where I believe most of the confusion is occurring.

Perhaps it is time for sports coaches to change their label? My sports coach was never just a coach: he was all over the place. He was a trainer, mentor, first-aider, guidance counsellor, chief nagger, provider of half-time oranges, and my friend.

As a trainer, coach, mentor, consultant and contractor my suggestion, and that is all it is, is – ask what service you are getting and keep looking until you get what you are looking for. I know many therapists and coaches will use their first session to tell you what you can expect. I said many, not all. Minimum all should be able to tell you what they are doing, why and when they are doing it.