F’ing bollocks! I’m sitting in a big-brand café. You know the kind of place, where you expect a certain amount of service and great quality food on the affordable side. Mostly because grannies, 2.25-sized families and taxi drivers go there. In this instance, what the heck for I’ll never know.
So anyway, I go in and ask for bacon and eggs (fried), white toast and a side of avocado ($2.50 extra but is okay, that’s pretty standard). All is good. I go outside for a quick ciggy (nice they have a place for us disgusting smokers: not flash but it will do).
Food arrives shortly after: I think, excellent, that was quick; just as well because I have got some serious shopping to do.
I look down as the waitress places the food down. Bugger, brown bread. Never mind, I’m in a hurry. “Can I have some cutlery, please”? The waitress points to the other side of the restaurant. “Over there,” she says. Oh dear, I gotta get my own cutlery.
I look down at my bag, thinking, is it safe to leave here while I go all the way over there. Stuff it, off I go. Salt, pepper, cutlery – great. Get back to my table: relief, bag still there. Sit down: aw man, no butter. I go back to the counter and ask for butter FOR MY BROWN FLAMING TOAST! That will be 50 stupid cents, please. I’m not a moaner so I go back to my table and fish out 50 cents; my food’s probably going cold now.Of course, the experience is declining at a rate of knots. Back at my table now. Seated. Organised. Yay, those eggs look good, bacon looks yummy: at least they got that right. Yuuum, avocado, slice it – you’re kidding me, it’s not ripe, and you know what? The damn skin is still on it. At first I thought that it looked pretty: now I see it as just plain laziness.
Ah well, I’m in a hurry: just get stuck into it. Gawd, the table number they gave me is grotty. I butter my BROWN HORSE FOOD TOAST and stack my bacon on top, then the eggs. Why do restaurants do that? Everyone stacks eggs on top of bacon, bacon on the toast; why don’t they make it easy; don’t they realise that I’m in a hurry?Right, now I’m really organised. Here goes. I press my fork into my stack and my fork bends under the pressure. For gad’s sake!!
On reflection the place was a hole. What am I doing here??
DID YOU ASK YOURSELF "HOW WOULD THE EXPERIENCE HAVE BEEN BETTER?"
ANSWERS:Bacon and eggs:
Repeat the order back to make sure it is correct.
Ask if I would like the toast buttered for an extra 50 cents or simply make the price of the entire package 50 cents extra.
Tell me to pick up my cutlery and salt and pepper on my way to the table or relocate the cutlery to the counter area so it is obvious. Some might even say, when delivering the food take cutlery as well. This form of service is not to the brand’s style: yes, it would be an improvement but take into consideration that it is a predominately self-service-style property – although not immediately obvious to an à-la-carte diner
Have slightly better quality cutlery.
Ensure all facilities – salt, pepper, tables and table number – are clean.
Spruce the smokers’ area up a little bit more: smokers are smokers, not dogs, AND we like to spend money.
Watch the eating habits of all customers to see how food should be presented: if it’s 50/50 offer the option of stacked/not stacked.
Double-check order before presenting it to the customer – yes, even cooks/chefs make mistakes. Do not let anything less than the best out of the kitchen – snotty eggs are a big no-no.
Advise the customer as soon as possible that the avocado is not ripe and give the customer the option: refund me promptly if I say no-thanks. Refund me anyway: you’re giving me less than perfect quality. Can you imagine how impressed I would be to get my $2.50 back? It’s small but, boy, most customers would forgive every evil that had occurred earlier because it shows a level of professionalism and caring.
Check a few minutes later to make sure the food and service are how they should be. Tip: watch body language and listen to tone; people often won’t say anything.
Question: How much would it cost to correct this situation?
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